Repressed grief or resisting feelings of grief is a worse and more prolonged kind of suffering than being with our grief and allowing it to be fully had.
To really feel our grief, with all it’s intensity, is one of the hardest things, but if we push it away, it will still be there, waiting to be felt, waiting for the truth of expression at some point.
With unprocessed grief, we often unconsciously create other problems to focus on to keep grief and our fear of loss away. However in running we generate much more suffering.. feelings of guilt, frustration, apathy, emotional disconnect, depression, addictive/compulsive behaviours, arrogance/victimisation, general stress, anxious thoughts, sleep problems, physical symptoms, suicide ideation, shallow breathing and less ability to be open and receptive to life on the whole.
We also usually have increased relationship problems. We’re attracted to certain types and play out unconscious relational patterns in an attempt to have more control to mitigate loss or devastation. But then it’s these patterns that are what end up being what makes our relationships not work and we then experience more loss and grief.
Unfelt grief holds us prisoner. On some level we are unable to get past certain blocks/demons so we can truly step into our full potential and the life we envision for ourselves.
The long and the short of it is.. we need to find a way to be with grief. It’s hard, but it’s a lot harder long term when we don’t.
RATNA DYER 