Anything we do to try and please others when it’s not our truth, in the end gives us exactly the opposite of what we want.. which is to be entirely true to our self, deeply authentic, within and without.
When we repress, suppress, deny or adjust our true heart, we not only move away from happiness, we actually generate suffering.
When it’s hard to be authentic, when we fear someone being angry, disapproving or rejecting, it is helpful to realise that real joy is when we know inside that we are in alignment with our integrity, truth and authentic being.
Sometimes we need to nod and smile and appease others as a conscious means to minimise reactivity or harm, if we can see that they aren’t able to take responsibility or hear us. This doesn’t necessarily mean we are being inauthentic. It means we are discerning about our relationships and choosing consciously how best to navigate them.
If we are in a close relationship where we don’t feel safe enough to be ourselves, it is really important to question if that relationship is what we are telling ourselves it is and if it might be in our best interest to step aside.
It might also be necessary to look at our past experiences around love, conditional love and how we were supported/unsupported/neglected/abused growing up. Often people pleasing is a learnt trauma response and needs to be reassured and worked with patiently.