Learn to become aware of signs that indicate you’ve become defensive.
Perhaps your voice changes.
Perhaps your body tenses.
Maybe you get angry or emotional.
Maybe you start pointing at the other person.
Or your heart rate increases.
When you get defensive, understand that there is usually something that the other person has touched on, that was already there in you and that you’re judging yourself for.
If we’re not judging ourselves for something, then someone else’s words will not trigger any need to defend anything.