How people speak about their past can often give you a clue about how they might walk their future.

Healthy relationships require two people willing to look at themselves.

If you’re dating, looking for that special someone, keep an ear out for how they talk about their ex and their past relationships.

Do they speak kindly, acknowledging consciously the struggle and growth they and their partner went through? Or do they blame their ex or speak ill of them?

How much awareness can you see they might have of their part in a relationship dynamic, and their responsibility to learn about themselves around that?

And if they are putting it mostly on their ex, remember there is always their ex’s side to the story too. And perhaps even a line of ex’s that experienced pretty much the same thing. Do you need to be the next one?

Often we see what we want to see, because we so much want it to be what we think it is. And don’t forget the torrent of hormones bombarding us to fall in love. But give yourself a chance to really truly look and discern. You could save yourself a world of agony.