Author: ratnadyer

How many years I fought this. Looking to my dream of the right relationship to fill me up. Life kept showing to me the nature of impermanence. The changeability, the loss the gain. The up followed by the down. The attachment creating so much more fear.

I am learning to let go and trust. Of course I and all of us are human and always vulnerable and able to be wounded by losing someone we love. But I am so so grateful that through working with a therapist myself for ten years, to have found enough clarity in my psychological process to not be caught up so much in my conditioning. And through yoga and meditation I have found a pathway to keep returning home to myself, to rest in being, love and compassion, truth and the spiritual heart.

Here I feel no matter what happens, nothing is lost. I am whole.

There is nothing more worthwhile than investing in your own self growth. It is the one thing that will never leave you.

Thank you. So much gratitude.

When there is a kind of nibbling anxiety and you notice you are rushing from one thing to the next.. that is the time to sit, allow space, feel your breathing, connect with the silence of your ever present being. Come home inwardly, then move from there. Rushing only keeps you running.

What is my priority? To be inwardly at peace, centred, connected and in touch with my wholeness. In this way I can also then be the most loving and helpful for others.

When I notice I am busy busy with activities that yes need to be done, but I am impatient with each one with a feeling of running behind time. This is red flag 🚩 moment signalling a trick of the ego to keep me out of my centre, with the promise of being able to relax when…

We need to learn to short circuit this rat wheel we find ourselves on, by stepping off long enough to breathe out, soften our forehead, our tight jaw, lower our shoulders, breathe into our lower belly and notice the light, sounds and silence all around.

Each moment is a quality of being which comprises our experience of life.

Grief has a way of pooling in our being. It doesn’t always differentiate one grief feeling for another.

Sometimes it feels that if we let ourselves open the floodgates to our feelings, all that we have grieved and have experienced as lacking throughout our lives will snowball and overpower us in one big tsunami. We can close off to it in this fear of it.

The truth is, if we can get support to learn to feel safe enough in ourselves so as to let ourselves be with and feel our pain and express it with awareness, we can set it free.

As spiritual poet Rumi said.. ‘The cure for pain is in the pain.’

That same blessed tsunami can wash away the weight we carry and no longer need.

Let grief wash you into freedom. Yes extremely painful, but such a fierce grace.

When I learn something new I often feel vulnerable. I’m not good at it, I’m clumsy or I’m trying too hard.

Often my mind is way ahead of my ability and I can get impatient or judging with myself and where I am.

But I can only get better at it by relaxing, letting myself be where I am and enjoying to learn.

When I step each day in this way it’s fun, and one day I find myself flying.

When we open to our pain we open equally our capacity for joy.
When we close off to our pain we close off equally to our joy.

Opening the heart involves being willing to be with the entirety of our experience without judgement.

I couldn’t pin-point why I woke up and I felt down yesterday.  Nothing specific had happened.  I followed my regular routine of getting up at 7 and going for a walk with my dog.  Usually when I step outside into the morning air and connect with nature and the world around me I feel uplifted.  That morning a sadness stayed inside me like a heavy sore spot in my chest.  When I got back to the house I felt better for the walk than I would have if I’d stayed inside, but the sadness wouldn’t shake.

I did my yoga, had my healthy breakfast, connected with a friend, doing what could to help myself feel better, but it was still there.  I had a shower.  As I was getting dressed I heard a strong, clear thought go through my mind.  It said “I just need to be very tender with myself today”.  I took that on board and gave myself permission to feel how I felt and to be kind to myself.  I stopped telling myself it wasn’t ok and that there was something wrong with me, and where I could, I made choices throughout the day that went easy on me, reminding myself to be nice to me.  By the end of the day I felt a little more content.

On my way home after work I went to the supermarket.  I browsed around and got what I needed (of course only going in for that one thing and ending up with a whole basket).  At the checkout I had a nice friendly exchange with the checkout girl, asking her how her day had been.  I could sense she was a bit bored.  She replied in the usual way most of us reply, saying “Good”.  Then she asked me how mine had been.  I said “I’ve had an odd day, not so great.  Didn’t feel so good this morning, but now I’m feeling a bit better.”  I paused, we exchanged a smile, then I said, “But it’s not so much about whether we feel down or not, it’s more about how we lift ourselves out of it.”  Her face brightened as that idea sunk into her awareness and she replied “That’s true. I’d never thought of it like that”.

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