Author: ratnadyer

Self care is not selfishness. They are two different things. When we look after ourselves we are looking after others. When we take responsibility and be the best we can be, it is best for others.

When we are well we can better look after our children. Friends and people we meet feel our energy and are effected by it.
Our physical health is interconnected throughout humanity.
How we look after ourselves makes a difference.
Our interactions make a difference.
Our being well on all levels: psychological, emotional, physical and spiritual, makes an enormous difference.

Look after yourself and give yourself kindness and support, wherever you are at. We all need that.

Being present with calm, our true nature shines through.

Rest and digest is the opposite of fight flight freeze mode.

In rest and digest our life comes more into alignment.

Ways to help create calm:
Conscious breathing
Being in nature
Getting a massage
Yoga
Taking a hot bath
Watching the sunset
Meditation
Mindfulness
Exercise
Tai chi
Singing
Listening to soothing music
Having a good cry
Prayer
Rescue remedy
Cuddling a pet
Hugging a friend
Aromatherapy
Gazing at a candle
Coming into the present moment.

What are some of your favourite ways to create calm?

Sometimes it’s wise to remove ourselves, get away. Other times it’s an inner reaction coming from a trigger from past experience, and now creating a misinterpretation of the present reality.

Learning to stay present and bear our difficult feelings means we are more able to make a conscious choice rather than be unconsciously controlled by what we run from.

If you’re struggling with chronic low mood, lack of motivation and feelings of stress or anxiety, consider the biological side: You could well be low in B vitamins or vitamin D or essential minerals like zinc, selenium or magnesium. Also omega oils are critical for healthy brain function.

Make sure your body and brain are supported on the physical level.
Also consider hormone balance. This can throw us around a lot if it is off.

Rest, sleep, diet/nutrition, exercise, meditation, connection with nature, creativity and social connection are all pillars of holistic health.

Have compassion for yourself. It’s hard being human. Suffering is a part of our human journey. It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough or not doing it right. It doesn’t mean you’re not loveable and full of worth. It’s just part of the ride.

Take all of the self judgement out of it and you’re left with the fact; it just is.

We can use suffering to motivate ourselves toward better things, toward being our best self and realising what is true.

We can discard thoughts that generate more suffering. Thoughts that propagate inequality, division and keep putting us down or tell us we are a victim to life.

What we focus on increases. Become aware of how your thinking creates your experience.

We are more than our fear.

It takes practice and awareness, but we can learn to look at and hold space around our fear.

When we commit to ourselves we can begin to come more into our full power. We can walk a path toward wholeness. We can trust that whatever we need to go through is going to happen just as it should. We can let go of all the things we think we need to be and be ourselves and be ourselves fully. Inclusive of all the hard stuff and stuff we might reject or want to push away. We can learn to walk with grace, compassion and discernment.

Common answers when people are asked what they are doing to help themselves through a tough time are: keeping busy, watching Netflix, work, having a wine, looking at something on some kind of screen….

These things do help to get us through at times, they have their place and yet they also can tend to just push pause on dealing with what we’ve got going on inside.

Truly practicing self care is tuning in, not tuning out.

Learn ways to listen inward. Listen to your feelings, your thoughts, your body and your heart.

Attend to you like someone who cares.

Compassion, clarity and trust are three of the strongest keys for letting go.

As adults we each have a responsibility to build real emotional intelligence and maturity.

We can’t run from our emotions our whole life and not cause ourselves and others pain and trauma.

We also can’t be engulfed or taken over by our emotions too much without causing ourselves and others pain and trauma.

We have to work with ourselves to find the balance… To learn to be open, real, connected and emotionally available in a heart centred way, and at the same time to have resilience, the ability to move, adapt, let go, trust, to be stable and able to access lightness.

True emotional maturity and open heartedness is a lifelong journey. We all need guidance and support on it.