Author: ratnadyer

Healthy relationships require two people willing to look at themselves.

If you’re dating, looking for that special someone, keep an ear out for how they talk about their ex and their past relationships.

Do they speak kindly, acknowledging consciously the struggle and growth they and their partner went through? Or do they blame their ex or speak ill of them?

How much awareness can you see they might have of their part in a relationship dynamic, and their responsibility to learn about themselves around that?

And if they are putting it mostly on their ex, remember there is always their ex’s side to the story too. And perhaps even a line of ex’s that experienced pretty much the same thing. Do you need to be the next one?

Often we see what we want to see, because we so much want it to be what we think it is. And don’t forget the torrent of hormones bombarding us to fall in love. But give yourself a chance to really truly look and discern. You could save yourself a world of agony.

Build your routine around fundamental practices that help you to be relaxed and in your center.

Don’t try to fit them in somewhere. Make your life fit around them.

When we brush our teeth everyday, we know we are protecting them and setting a standard of protection that is constantly in place. We don’t just brush our teeth every second or third day or when they get sore, like an ambulance at the bottom of the cliff.

With our mental and emotional well-being, and often our physical, we so often wait till we’re sore before we try to use a practice to help. It’s not enough. We need to set a baseline of care by having a daily consistency.

If you really want inner calm and to create a new baseline for your nervous system long term it requires everyday practice.

We are not any of the thoughts we might have about ourselves. They are just ideas that we form an image and identity around and that we attach to for a time.

We are the quiet space in which a thought can come into. We are there before any thought comes. We are there after an idea changes or has gone.

No thought is original to your essential being.

Feel your own presence. You are there whether you are thinking or not. This is learning to know the truth of who/what you are.

I always come back to my heart,
whether I realise or not.
Nothing can ever separate me,
from my being,
from my being.

Everybody needs to listen inwardly to what resonates for them on the spiritual path.

The heart of all good teachings from all religions have wonderful gifts. And yet true spirituality is a path of discernment, not blind following. It’s a path of listening, not rigid thinking. It’s a path of love, not fear driven behaviour.

After a relaxing experience have you heard anyone say..
‘Oh well, back to reality now’, as though being relaxed was a holiday from real life.

Actually in truth, when we realise who and what we truely are, reality is then where we will naturally come to rest.

If you want effortless peace, how could it be other than a natural, un-contrived experience of being?

We might experience highs or lows or altered states of consciousness, through different experiences, drugs or meditation, but at the end of the day, here we are again. Just here. Just ourselves in reality.

Ultimately speaking, in personal growth, once we have met our basic needs for safety, shelter and connection, there is no ‘better’ reality to find, other than deepening into our awareness of who we are already, naturally, no matter what is happening.

Learning to rest in being, synonymous with reality.

Do what you need to do to find clarity within.

This might mean doing less. This might mean taking action.

Take the next step with what you are needing to help yourself.

Set a clear, open intention.

When you allow your energy to become clear this is also what helps other people the most.

It’s important to have aspirations and goals, but perhaps even more important to be where you are first.

Healing doesn’t mean we don’t ever feel stress, anger or anxiety. It is more that we know we are safe enough to regain ourselves and come back to more ease in our body.

When relaxation and presence happens in the body, we know it is real, connected, true.
We come home.