Author: ratnadyer

When something triggers us, it can be distressing and uncomfortable.

However if we can remain connected with ourselves and our intention to heal, we can use it to help us know where we are holding past pain, and where we can bring consciousness and turn pain into understanding.

A trigger usually indicates a past version of ourselves holding something unheard, unresolved and needing loving attention.

Whether we might receive being heard by another or not is secondary to hearing our own heart first.

When deep inner silence merges with the vast silence of the sky, this is true joy.

It is necessary to be prepared to attend earnestly to the difficult and uncomfortable stuff with ourselves and others. This takes a certain level of seriousness.

However lightness is a powerful gift and we need to not be too heavy and hard and burdened with ourselves; to stay open, receptive, able to move and grow.

The most powerful key for our growth and change is self compassion; releasing the judgment we have with ourselves and giving ourself some patience, understanding and kindness.

Change your perspective and you change your world.

We so often jump to how to make things better by thinking we need to change the external. However our inner relationship to things is often where we are filled with conflict and expectation.

When we can learn about our inner landscape and the parts of us that interpret things in different ways, the way we receive things can change.

With this inner awareness, sometimes then we realise that what we have is enough, and gratitude and appreciation can fill our heart.

Be compassionate with all parts of you. We are human. We are vulnerable. We need more love and patience when we’re feeling anxious or sad.

We need to be able to give compassion to ourself and receive compassion from ourself. As we are always present.

Our ego is a sneaky creature. It finds a way to turn all sorts of things into an interpretation that is in service to itself.

Unconditional love, does not mean you have to put up with being used, dumped on or treated badly.

A kind person will just as much be able to say no, as they might say yes.

Looking after yourself means everyday.
Doing things that bring you joy and peace and clarity.
Keeping the body clean.
Clearing the mind.
Breathing with and breathing out emotions.
Eating right.
Getting enough rest.
Exercising.
Stretching the body.
Doing things that need to be done even if you don’t particularly like them, because you know that actually you’ll feel better after.
Being honest inwardly and with life.
Showing up.
No one else can do it for you.

We often learn growing up, that parts of us aren’t received well, accepted heard or supported.

We learn therefore to try not to be certain ways and to be the way that gets the best results we can.

And with that, as we go on we tend to split off from parts of ourselves.

We try to squash the angry part. We try to deny the needy part. We try to avoid the deeply sad or lonely parts of us.

This forms what some people term our ‘shadow’.

Healing requires integrating our shadow. It involves learning to be there and bring understanding and kindness to the parts of us that we disallow.

To learn to listen and be honest with how we’re really feeling.

Obviously the need to remain sensitive to how we affect others is always important, and so social conditioning is a necessary part of life.

And yet when we have already seen, heard and allowed ourselves our process inwardly, whether we have expressed our feelings to others or not, what we choose to do with them becomes much more conscious and wise.

We can find more harmony in life this way.

Paradox how allowing our negative feelings in the end makes us a happier and more balanced person.