Author: ratnadyer

When I look back, I can see that often the most challenging times were when I learnt the most about myself.

Often we need support or guidance to come out of our habitual way of seeing things; to consider things in a new light.

The question is are we truely willing to listen? Especially when it might mean letting go of a treasured point of view.

Life opens up when we let go of only one way having to be right. There’s always more we can learn.

‘Variation is a movement of mindfulness’ – Matt Kahn.

And the one we all know.. variety is the spice of life.

Even if you always dry your left foot first after a shower, change it up and dry the right first. Small variations can be so satisfying.

Or go walking in different places at different times of day. Notice the change in light, the sounds, the scenes.

Enjoy your senses as much as you can.

When all things stop and we sit there, still, silence is the formless ground we find ourself in.

No matter how quiet it may become, we are still there; aware.

When we listen to the sense of our presence/being/existing/awareness, we recognise there is not silence and then a separate us. We are alive inside the silence itself.

“Be inside the silence as silence itself.” – Mooji.

It’s more about letting the noise of different behaviours settle so it can simply reveal itself.

Who you are resides within relaxation. Slow down and let yourself listen.

That classic feeling, of ‘Oh man I thought I had dealt with that!’ An old trigger brings a hurt or trauma to the surface and here it is smacking me in the face again! And worse because my judgement and resistance towards my experience is higher than ever before, because this ain’t meant to be happening in me no more! I thought I had that sorted!

Hmmm. Well some stuff we move past and yet quite a lot of our core ‘stuff’ still sits there, and has the potential to make us vulnerable our whole life. We are human, sensitive beings.

I’m learning that it’s not so much about sorting something and being beyond it affecting me anymore, it’s more about how clearly I see, how compassionately I respond to my process, how willing I am to let go and allow it to move through, and how quickly I can re-align and return to my intention and conscious choice for goodness, gratitude, humbleness and peace.

We can search all of life for information and intellectual knowledge, but nothing will give us true, deep, connected understanding until we go within.

Friends, family and close relationships are super important, and at the same time remember to learn to be your own friend. Learn to listen to yourself and have an inwardly connected, close relationship with yourself. Learn to speak kindly to yourself, like you would for someone you love.

We hope for others to always be there for us when we overlook our own presence, our only constant.

No one can ever be there for you the way you can learn to be with your self.

I personally experience that when emotions are unexpressed in me, my mind is often more active. It’s like the mental field is trying to keep me busy and safe from going into how I feel. I can find it hard to sleep when this happens and I find my yoga is more restless and unfocused. Until I listen and acknowledge what’s there; until I voice/breathe out with the truth of my anger or have a good cry or whatever is needed, I cannot settle or sustain a connected sense of presence.

Meditation is a way we might seek this presence, this inner peace, a stilling of the mind, an openness, a sense of calm.

However without acknowledging and processing emotions present, we cannot fully deepen as we are holding off from a part of our experience; judging and seeing it as unwanted.

We need to learn to feel safe enough to go toward our emotional experience. To be deeply honest with ourself about it. To go inside it and truely be with how we are feeling in a welcoming, inclusive and loving way.

Embodied practices like yoga/tai chi etc provide a pathway to listen inwardly through movement and sensation. Yoga has been proven as one of the most affective ways to release and heal trauma.

Our body holds all our emotions and is often a doorway to our emotional experience. Body practices are the most powerful way to learn to be alive to our feelings while staying anchored and connected in the here and now reality of our breath and body. With this anchor we learn to gain the ability to emotionally regulate and stabilise. When we know we can regain stability from a flood of feelings, we are more willing to let our emotions flow, as we know we are safe enough to have them.

Along with attending compassionately and safely to our emotion, we are practicing to remain steady in reality; connected and alive in an embodied state.

If we are simply seeking peace off in some transcendent realm/practice, it will not necessarily translate into everyday life when we step off our meditation cushion. We might lack the bridge to bring that peace with us as we move through our day, as we brush our teeth or attend to the children, or speak to the supermarket check out operator.

Spirituality and personal growth is not about the end goal of not having negative emotions, it’s about learning how not to judge or resist our natural human emotional aliveness.

Increasing calmness and serenity is more a byproduct of this, as our emotions become more harmonised and settled.

It comes in stages. As we grow up we first have to form an ego and an egoic self belief. Feeling some sense of how we fit (or don’t seem to fit) in the world.

As we walk through adulthood we are often challenged and shaken to begin to let this go, as life seems to have it’s own sense of how it’s going to play out.

Here comes a transition, where we can choose to hold tightly to maintaining who we think we are, or we can choose to start learning to see and unlearn all we think we know about who we think we are, to the point of absolute emptiness, a blank slate, an empty canvas, connected and one with the empty canvas upon which all of life plays out.

From here there is nothing to believe and nothing to doubt, there is only knowing of Self as truth, as essence, as presence with no name and no need for a name, as grace communing with grace in a game of consciousness.

Here we cannot fall as we have no standing and self belief is not required. From here we have no fear to be put down or raised up. From here there is no need to grasp at or to avoid any known thing or feeling for one’s sense of identity or security, as it is seen that all is changing and eventually unreliable.

Self belief of the ego is something we can gain. However if it can be gained it can also be lost. It needs defending and maintaining. It is not true self knowing and it does not make for good relationships.

Knowing Self as ever present silent formless awareness/consciousness, one recognises wholeness and truth, and with this, courage and authenticity can walk freely it’s path.

This is true Self belief. Not personal as an individual, but one with the fabric of reality.

When you watch a puppy run and play, the joy of being and expressing themselves is so apparent. Their presence is love itself playing through form.

We look for love as some notion of being wanted or something that needs two to be experienced, however love is the only ‘thing’ (it’s not a thing) that can exist entirely on its own with absolute completeness.

Love is radiance itself. It is the light of the sun, the depth of the ocean, the fullness of the moon. It is the eyes and soul of every creature.

It is there always and already, simply by being; the miracle of existence. Consciousness.