Author: ratnadyer

The most powerful key for our growth and change is self compassion; releasing the judgment we have with ourselves and giving ourself some patience, understanding and kindness.

Change your perspective and you change your world.

We so often jump to how to make things better by thinking we need to change the external. However our inner relationship to things is often where we are filled with conflict and expectation.

When we can learn about our inner landscape and the parts of us that interpret things in different ways, the way we receive things can change.

With this inner awareness, sometimes then we realise that what we have is enough, and gratitude and appreciation can fill our heart.

Be compassionate with all parts of you. We are human. We are vulnerable. We need more love and patience when we’re feeling anxious or sad.

We need to be able to give compassion to ourself and receive compassion from ourself. As we are always present.

Our ego is a sneaky creature. It finds a way to turn all sorts of things into an interpretation that is in service to itself.

Unconditional love, does not mean you have to put up with being used, dumped on or treated badly.

A kind person will just as much be able to say no, as they might say yes.

Looking after yourself means everyday.
Doing things that bring you joy and peace and clarity.
Keeping the body clean.
Clearing the mind.
Breathing with and breathing out emotions.
Eating right.
Getting enough rest.
Exercising.
Stretching the body.
Doing things that need to be done even if you don’t particularly like them, because you know that actually you’ll feel better after.
Being honest inwardly and with life.
Showing up.
No one else can do it for you.

We often learn growing up, that parts of us aren’t received well, accepted heard or supported.

We learn therefore to try not to be certain ways and to be the way that gets the best results we can.

And with that, as we go on we tend to split off from parts of ourselves.

We try to squash the angry part. We try to deny the needy part. We try to avoid the deeply sad or lonely parts of us.

This forms what some people term our ‘shadow’.

Healing requires integrating our shadow. It involves learning to be there and bring understanding and kindness to the parts of us that we disallow.

To learn to listen and be honest with how we’re really feeling.

Obviously the need to remain sensitive to how we affect others is always important, and so social conditioning is a necessary part of life.

And yet when we have already seen, heard and allowed ourselves our process inwardly, whether we have expressed our feelings to others or not, what we choose to do with them becomes much more conscious and wise.

We can find more harmony in life this way.

Paradox how allowing our negative feelings in the end makes us a happier and more balanced person.

Healthy relationships require two people willing to look at themselves.

If you’re dating, looking for that special someone, keep an ear out for how they talk about their ex and their past relationships.

Do they speak kindly, acknowledging consciously the struggle and growth they and their partner went through? Or do they blame their ex or speak ill of them?

How much awareness can you see they might have of their part in a relationship dynamic, and their responsibility to learn about themselves around that?

And if they are putting it mostly on their ex, remember there is always their ex’s side to the story too. And perhaps even a line of ex’s that experienced pretty much the same thing. Do you need to be the next one?

Often we see what we want to see, because we so much want it to be what we think it is. And don’t forget the torrent of hormones bombarding us to fall in love. But give yourself a chance to really truly look and discern. You could save yourself a world of agony.

Build your routine around fundamental practices that help you to be relaxed and in your center.

Don’t try to fit them in somewhere. Make your life fit around them.

When we brush our teeth everyday, we know we are protecting them and setting a standard of protection that is constantly in place. We don’t just brush our teeth every second or third day or when they get sore, like an ambulance at the bottom of the cliff.

With our mental and emotional well-being, and often our physical, we so often wait till we’re sore before we try to use a practice to help. It’s not enough. We need to set a baseline of care by having a daily consistency.

If you really want inner calm and to create a new baseline for your nervous system long term it requires everyday practice.