Author: ratnadyer

The parts of ourselves that we find most difficult to be with, are the parts that can teach us the most compassion.

Some people think they’ll be happy when they have a good body, or a flash car, nice house, all the money in the world, perfect partner etc.

This kind of happiness isn’t reliable. Even if we attain the perfect bod and all the riches, our struggle usually then will just shift to the next thing.

It can become fearful of losing those things, or it might focus on the next imperfection we perceive, or the next greatest thing to attain or achieve.

It’s nature of measuring things is unending and insatiable.

Unless we practice seeing this insatiable demander or critical inner judge and catching it out at its game, we will be forever chasing after its whims and running from its whip.

Freeing ourselves from this vicious inner cycle can only occur through becoming more conscious and seeing this pattern clearly for what it is.

Seeing it, we can call it, bring compassion in, begin to let go and be more kind to ourselves.

To help yourself with this:

STEP ONE:
Each time you notice you are judging your body or chasing after the next best thing, name it. Write it down. Expose the thought process/pattern; write down the kind of thoughts that are there around it and the behaviour that comes from it. Build the light of your awareness to be able to identify it as clearly as possible.
For example, when you’re checking in the mirror how much your tummy might be sticking out, notice first that this is what you are doing and say to yourself either out loud or clearly inside: ‘measuring my body’.

STEP TWO:
As if it were a sub-personality acting on a stage inside you, paint a picture of the part of you that is measuring, judging or insatiable. Describe this person as though you needed to cast the character for a play. Write your character profile down. And each time this behaviour and thinking comes, start see this person there acting.

When you start to see this person, you can start to choose from the place of the observer if you need to be this person.

When we raise our level of consciousness, stressful things that consume us can begin to fall away.

Be aware of where your thoughts lie.. are they in lack mode? Complaining mode? It’s not fair mode? Or are they seeing the beauty and abundance and stemming from an underlying trust in what is?

Where we focus our thinking generates the quality of our experience.

Two people can look at exactly the same thing and yet interpret it completely differently.

Be aware.

How do you want to receive this moment? How do you want to create your future?

The healing journey can be so far out hard sometimes. It can turn you inside out, upside down, down into the depths of fear and put into the realms of surrender, as you recognise there is nothing much else left.

And then when you let go, you find yourself. You’re the only thing left.

And you are magnificent.

We can have self awareness and we can realise ourselves AS awareness itself.

When we have self awareness, it has come through observing and identifying the ego self: having a clear recognition of it’s patterns, beliefs, behaviours, reactions, fears, insecurities and insatiableness.

When we realise our Self AS awareness, we recognise our true place. We are awareness resting in itself. Not even resting. Just here.
We are aware of even the observer. We are beyond the mind. We are the sense of being, the I am presence, the wordless knowing, our pure Self that has no name.

I have awareness of my self. I am awareness itself.

Just like a seed knows how to grow into the plant it is to become, consciousness ultimately knows how to grow and heal itself. Nothing and no one external needs to tell it.

Even when we receive help and guidance, it is still from within that any decision is seen and made.

You don’t have to know what to do, you just need to be willing to listen and allow life to show you; get your intellect out of the way and follow the simplicity of what is laid out. The truth calls within at each step and knows what this is.

Follow.

Role modelling self reflection, humility, a willingness to grow, listen and acknowledge your limitations. This makes all the difference in parenting.

Our kids are astute. They see when we walk our talk and when we are all talk and not walking it.

And how can we really be there for them and connect deeply if we can’t hear when we might be the one that needs to learn from them?!

We don’t have to get it all right and be perfect, no one manages that. But we do need to be real and role model taking responsibility to heal and grow and love.

When we do this we can remain more open. Love blossoms this way.

True celebration doesn’t exclude half our experience. It knows how to be whole and safe and real and open with all of it.

It knows how to breathe and appreciate the beauty in everything, even sadness.

It knows how to release and dance and sing freely.

When we are not afraid of our darkness, we are free to explore our full heart and the space can fill with trust, truth and joy.

Don’t hold back.

When we slow down, allow our feelings, drop into and through our feelings, there we find underneath, always, the clear open space of our being. Our inner peace.

What do you do to keep running?

It is helpful to identify the ways that we avoid our feelings and what vices/behaviours we use to keep us from really being with ourself.

Common things people do:
-keep busy all the time.
-escape into a screen of some kind.
-try to never be alone.
-alchohol.
-drugs.
-smoke.
-eat.
-compulsive exercise.
-think think think.
-blame others/life.
-focus always on the next thing we can acquire/achieve.
-fantasize/daydream.
-isolate ourselves.
-never ending list of other distractions.

All these things are all part of being human, so it’s not about putting anything into a bad box.

But what matters is, that we become aware of what we do and what is driving it.

When we start to identify.. ahh I see, here I am doing this again.. we can become curious.. what’s really going on in me?..

Then we can start to open an inner doorway toward understanding, self connection and making more conscious choices.

We do not have to be driven by an unconscious fear of feelings.