I am always here, my feelings change. My feelings do not define me. They can never drown me, as I am here prior to see even the feeling of drowning.
We overlook our own awareness presence and take ourselves to be the content of our experiencing.
We are always and already here as the context for all experiences and all feelings to be had within.
Our true self as consciousness/awareness is beautifully empty of everything and yet everything happens within us.
No judgment can touch you if you don’t buy it.
It all comes back to how you judge yourself and whether you choose to follow those thoughts or not.
How you think others see you is happening in YOUR thought process. It may be part of theirs, it may not be.
What matters is each of us owning and taking responsibility for how we’re thinking and how that feels. Only we can change that for ourselves.
Whether others change or not then is of a lot less consequence, because we come to know our own worth.
Chasing an ideal picture; perfection, knights in shining armour?
We so often want our self perception and our relationships to fulfil all our ideas and expectations around happiness.
We tend to hold a picture of what we think we should live up to and of how our partner should be.
In regards to our impositions on ourself, the true goal is not to fit some picture, but to strip the illusions away to reveal and live our natural self with ease and authenticity.
And with our relationship/s, we learn that others are not there to full-proof meet our expectations and protect us from our fears/hurts/disappointments.
A relationship is there to help you grow into your best and most empowered, loving self.
If you’re not getting your prince/princess charming, it can actually be the universe’s way of helping you search within to build that care and confidence in your own being first.
The fantasy of love will never come in a consistent way from anyone else. And if your core self beliefs and ways of relating with yourself are not at a frequency of care and confidence, then your relationships will reflect this to you.
We attract and are attracted to people that will bring up the very fears/issues we need to see and release; fears that are blocking our heart’s ability to give and receive love.
Of course one should NOT use this as a way of rationalising staying in an abusive relationship. The learning there is simply to leave. In that situation leaving is a critical act of self love.
We grieve for that which we love. And we grieve for that which we didn’t let ourselves love more fully while we could.
Don’t hold back for fear of a broken heart. It’s unfulfilled/broken anyway when you miss the passage of joy.
“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens” – Rumi.
May we embody and live all that we need to see more of in the world: awareness, responsibility, kindness, honesty, truth, authenticity, humility, grace, gentleness, caring, endurance, love.
May we be the change we wish to see in all humanity.
The most powerful way to affect others is to be a living role model.
If you’re not practicing what you preach, who’s going to take you seriously?
Let yourself sit in stillness.
Let what needs to be felt arise.
Let what needs to be heard in you be heard by you.
Let your body tell you where the letting go can happen.
When we sit with ourself in silence, listening and aware, we cleanse, we clear, we open to life itself.
Our actions are important and say a lot about us and what we value.
However our essential self and that we are worthy of love doesn’t change.
Sometimes we are driven to be productive and useful as a way of being seen as worthy of love and approval.
When this is the case let yourself slow. Do less. Know you are loved and oh so worthy of love, also when you relax and rest.
Imagine if every flower were the same shape, colour and size. We would crave difference, diversity and interest.
Why then do we marginalise and judge difference within our own human kind?
Our judgement/lack of acceptance of others is simply a reflection of our own mind and the degree of separation and worth we feel inwardly.
When we are unconscious to this in ourselves; to varying degrees denying it, then we have to put it some somewhere and so we project it outwardly.
When unkindness is present, it has nothing to do with the object we are judging/marginalising. It has everything to do with the mind perceiving and enacting it that way.
Equally, don’t stay too seperate and isolated in your own tower. Remain available, open and authentic with your needs.
Relationships are so important. Alone time and space is very important too, but all in all we are not born to be an island.
Life is interconnected. We are each individual and distinct and yet we are not seperate.
We need each other. And we also need to be allowed and trusted to be ourselves and given the space we need.
Everyone’s pace and path of growth needs to be respected. The more we might monitor or analyse or try to influence it, often the more resistance is created.
We have to learn to trust what is. To come into a space of allowing and love. A space of contentment in our own knowing of ourself, not rely on someone else becoming what we think we need them to be to ensure our happiness.
If that happens then it’s a bonus, but it cannot be a reliable means for happiness if we aren’t centred in our own self.
Pay most attention to your own fears and inner conflicts, rather than someone else’s.
And yes make wise choices about what is good for you with healthy boundaries. It is never ok to accept abuse, and often in a case of abuse the change needed is in our own choice to leave and to become clear that we are worth protecting.
We cannot change others, but we can be inspiring and we can make choices that change our part of a dynamic.
RATNA DYER 