Author: ratnadyer

Our relationships are so important. We need to be able to share ourselves and support each other.

Spiritual practice is important, and at the same time, if we are great at meditation but terrible at considering other people, then something in us isn’t integrated.

If we are really good at changing the light bulb, but not able to change our perspective and really put ourselves in another’s shoes, then at some point we will hit up against our own rigidness as it comes back at us.

I really like what Ram Dass said: “If you think you are enlightened, go and spend a week with your parents.”

The proof is in the pudding.

Do you really truely look at the patterns you have in relationships? Do you enquire into yourself, your reactions, your motivations, fears, inspirations? Have you unpacked what hurts you have and protective mechanisms you developed through growing up? We ALL have them, no matter how idyllic our childhood was.

It’s not about navel gazing, it’s about awareness. We don’t need to dwell on the past, but we need to be able to identify how and where the past is unconsciously continuing to play out in our relationships now.

With this awareness we can start to update ourself and open to create more conscious choices. We can be more connected and honest in relationship. We can be less controlling and stubborn, better at listening and more patient and compassionate.

A much nicer feeling all round.

So often we think that to be a good person and to be loving and kind, that this means not having anger.

And like some magical miracle will come and touch us if we are spiritual enough and it will dissolve all anger and we will be left to enjoy bliss and peace and love and light.

Hahahaha.

Nope.

If anything, the more enlightened we are, the more we are able to allow our feelings authentically both within ourself, and appropriately with others.
A conscious external angry response dare I say it, can sometimes even be helpful: to be clear, assertive and communicate boundaries.

The more we suppress and resist, the more it festers and persists.
Take a look at your relationship with anger. How was/is it role-modelled to you in your family. How do you ‘do’ anger now?

All emotion is moving. The emotional body is in constant flux. Like the weather systems of the earth. If it needs to rain it needs to rain. When lightening strikes it has to strike. And it’s charge helps to protect the earth.

Of course we need to learn to be emotionally conscious and healthy: aware, considerate, balanced and taking responsibility.

But emotional maturity and spiritual brownie points does not mean that at some point we will be altogether free of having challenging feelings.

The key is in seeing, allowing, breathing and self-honesty.

Learning what we are in truth, and seeing from beyond who we think we are is freedom.

We cannot ever know through our intellect who we truly are. We can only discover who we are as our very beingness, connected with the beingness of all life.

This requires us to live in the moment, listening to the aliveness of our own breath, our movement. Listening to the warmth of the sun on our skin, the grass under our feet and the birds singing free.

Being presence; merged and recognising its own self as awareness itself.

There is no seperate character called me. The me I think I am is seen by awareness. It is playing out within awareness.

Look more deeply within and you will find this same awareness is you too.

Sometimes the tide is in, sometimes the tide is out.

This includes the experience of relationships. Sometimes we have more togetherness and sometimes we have times apart. We sometimes feel like talking, we sometimes don’t.

One way relationships become fraught is when we try to hold on to high tide or we try to avoid low tide.

We can’t change the ebb and flow of our natural selves.

When we try to fix something into being unchanging, it will in some way not work.

Love flourishes not only in togetherness, but also when there is allowing and trust when the tide is out.

The tide being out does not have to have anything to do with the love or level of connection.

Sometimes when the connection is at its strongest it is because we know we can simply be free to be ourselves, even when this means we don’t feel like talking.

Sometimes there are simply stink moments, disappointments, grumpy feelings and tired over it points of the day.

This can all be allowed and all be ok. It’s our resistance to the feelings that creates further suffering, not the feelings themselves.

Nothing ever stays the same. Everything changes. Everything has its time.
Let what comes come. Let what goes go.

Allow transformation.

This does not mean you have to be all peaced out about it.
That would be nice. However grief is a part of transformation. Anger is a part of transformation. Struggle is often a part of transformation.

It’s more about learning to allow whatever arises to be as it is.

The air we breathe is breathing us.

Just take even a slight moment, a breath, a private reflection, an inner connection, an awareness with your presence, a listening to the quiet inside, a slowing down and a step back from mind.

We are always present whether we are awake to it or not. Our heart is available without doubt, whenever we need it.

Learn to appreciate your own heart and enjoy yourself.

Merry Christmas.

May we find gratitude for all that we have, enjoy ourselves and appreciate each other this Christmas.

May grace fill your Christmas.

Before you start to meditate, life is already meditating.
The silence is already there underneath. You’re already breathing. It’s simply a matter of where we place our attention. Placing our attention on that which is always and already resting in being.