Author: ratnadyer

Often there is a part of us that yearns to trust and feel safe in our relationships, and yet another part fears that if I really fully trust I will be vulnerable to loss, being let down, betrayed, rejected, abandoned or abused.

We can be caught in wanting to let others in, but not wanting to allow them too far in, to really matter, because then they will then have the power to hurt us.

We often try out all the options.. unconsciously… Maybe I can find a way to be in but have one foot out. Like.. I’ll be there, but not there; often unavailable through work or addictions or keeping a wall around my inner heart.

Or in the other direction: maybe I’ll make the other person the most important thing in my life and be the one to do everything to make it work so they won’t leave me.

In the end these attempts to keep ourself safe are often the very thing that lead to the rejection or betrayal, as the other feels there’s too much pressure to be your everything or they get sick of being less important than your job.

It is important to realise that trust is also about relationship to our self; about coming back to our own sense of being and listening and deep knowing that in truth all is well, I am safe, I am learning, I am whole no matter what and life is looking after me, even when I can’t see it. Trust is learning to lean into that.

When we learn to trust in our self this way, our trust in relationships will improve.

Life isn’t designed to give you what you want. Life is designed to make you find yourself.

People want the external first.. When such and such happens, then I’ll be happy.
It doesn’t work like that. Because when we get that thing, its not long before we are looking to the next. Our mental process hasn’t changed.

Happiness comes from attending to the inside. Turn it around.. when I am connected with my Self, when my heart is open and I feel grateful with all I have, I naturally attract good things.

There is no such thing as absolute independence.

I am dependent on the air being clean. I am dependent on the clouds to rain and the bees to pollinate food. I am dependent on the dust from the Sahara dessert to maintain the eco systems on the planet. I am dependent on the local firewood supplier, the supermarket, the wifi, the functioning of my liver, the earth not to shake too much, the balance of bacteria in my gut, the love, respect and support of people in my life.

The list is unending.

Recognising this fraction of our interdependence is such a helpful way to remind me that there is no other sane option than to live in a state of surrender.

May we all learn to trust life and let go of fear.

Let your awareness be not only of the things you are looking at, but also in yourself as the one perceiving.

We seemingly ‘lose ourselves’ in things. We can’t ever actually truely lose ourself. If we were not there, there would be nothing to have had any experience.

Self realisation is about learning to be aware of your awareness. Realising your own presence and awareness as the context in which all experience happens.

External objects come and go and change and flow. You as the perceiving awareness is the only constant.

This is the ‘seat’ of the Self. The ‘heart’, the Divine, the God self.

There is only one awareness. The awareness in you is the awareness in me. Here is unison and the oneness of life, of consciousness.

It’s right here all the time.

We look everywhere for love and happiness and overlook it as our very nature.

When we turn attention to the source of our looking itself, we find what we are looking for.

I remember my tutor Peter Hubbard at a lesson for my Psychosynthesis Counselling diploma once saying, ‘The work is not about going from A ➡️ to B. (Gesturing with his hands in a horizontal linear momenent) It’s about going from
A
⬇️
to
A
(Gesturing with his hands in a downward movement).

We all need to explore our inner being.

Do you hear your mind say ‘Yeah but not in my case they’re not’?

If so, there is an example of the inferior ego showing up.

What makes you so special to be different from all the rest of existence?…
Even if it is special in an inferior direction.

Often with the word ego, there is an idea of the sense of self importance being inflated. However ego can be super sneaky and takes many forms. An inferior ego does inflate a sense of identity, but through identifying with the ‘inadequate’ direction.

Superior or less than, are two of our ego’s favourite positions. They are two ends of the same stick.

Ego is about protection and separation. It’s task is to tenaciously maintain your sense of individual control and separation. It is like the protective wall of glass keeping a glass of sea water safe from becoming the ocean.

If you recognise you identify more with the inferior direction, your learning in releasing ego will include to affirm yourself. To find more balance within becoming comfortable and confident in knowing ‘Yes I do deserve to be happy and receive love. I am worthy and equal and whole.

There is nothing more joyous than feeling the spaciousness of the universe flow through you. Feeling yourself in the open unending sky. Allowing the birds to fly through your awareness like darts of grace and sparks of life.

We don’t need to fill ourselves up. We don’t need to fill the void. We need to see our heart ever present, not lost within it.

Here we are home; empty of our personal ideas, seeing we are already full with the joy of life itself.

It might feel different for a while, but fundamentally nothing has changed at all.

Usually there’s a part of us that wants change and a part that holds on for dear life to how things are, even if they’re sucky.

The part that’s holding on would rather be queen/king of the struggle she/he already knows, than risk the realms of the unknown.

When we start to see this part playing out in us and the tactics it employs to make us believe in him/her, then we are beginning to turn a key into an expansion of consciousness.

This is where true change occurs.

It is the air you breathe. It is the awareness with which you experience everything. It is the life force running through all the cells in your body. It is the light and dark and everything in between.

Come alive!! Wake up to this vital moment, living and breathing and sensing and knowing. We are this. We are truth. We are divinity in form.

‘What we are looking for is what is looking’ – Francis of Assisi.